Are you fine, or just functioning?

Hey friends,

I bought two new pairs of shoes last week. For those of you who don’t know me well, I kinda live a frugal life and tend to do a massive shop to overhaul my wardrobe once a year. Out of necessity. This time, I’m shopping just because I feel like it. Also a little peer pressure 🐝… which all round feels really good.

These last few days of actually paying attention to myself have genuinely lifted my energy, my mood, and the level of grace I’m generally emitting.

But you know, I had to have some deep epiphany to go with all this positivity, right? So let’s jump in:

Ideally, it shouldn’t take a new pair of shoes to make me realise how empty I’d been running. But it did.

It snuck up on me back in September. The kids went back to school, and I couldn’t wait to throw myself headfirst into work. So I did.

I filled my calendar with brutal schedules, taking on 12 to 15 meetings on some days. Coaching founders, running workshops, back-to-back calls, almost all of it staring at a screen.

And the hardest part to admit was that I did it all well.

I think I have genuinely been handling life like a pro. I showed up for my family, hit the gym, and ate healthy meals (well, mostly). Well, there’s also the fact that I was flopping on laundry. But overall, I have been killing it.

Underneath, though, I wasn’t sleeping because my brain felt like it was constantly out of time.

I scaled back on reaching out to friends. Going to the gym or long walks stopped being things I enjoyed; they became maintenance tasks to keep the machine running until the next call.

That’s the trap of sitting in front of a computer all day. You can sit in one chair, have a productive day in general, and slowly fade away on the inside.

So my reflections:

The most dangerous kind of stress is the kind that still lets you deliver.

It’s not a full breakdown. It’s living on autopilot while the light inside you slowly turns off.

We praise people who never drop the ball. But being able to keep going isn’t the same as being okay. And it’s definitely not the same as being free.

Here are the four signs I caught in myself this month:

1. You only rest when your body forces you to. Rest isn’t a natural habit anymore; it’s emergency repair.

2. The good things feel like pit stops, not joy. They’re keeping you moving, but they aren’t making you happy.

3. You go quiet with key people who aren’t on your to-do list.

4. You judge your day by what you finished, not how peaceful you felt.

There’s a line in the Bible that screams at me sometimes:

“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat, for he grants sleep to those he loves.” (Psalm 127:2)

We know this, but let’s be reminded - constant striving isn’t the point.

Don’t get me wrong, ambition is great. Having drive and wanting to build something meaningful is a gift, and I’ll never apologise for working hard.

That’s not the problem. I just need us to do better at catching ourselves when we become “HIGH-FUNCTIONING STRESSED”

A great life is never just about how much you get done. It’s always about who you’re becoming while you do it, and whether the life you’re managing so well is actually a life you want to live.

The new shoes didn’t fix anything specifically. But they were a great reminder to check in… also great motivation to go out dancing or something this October.

That’s what I want to hang onto.

So here are two questions I’ll leave you with:

Are you well, dear friend, or are you keeping up?

And what would you do differently if proving yourself wasn’t the goal?

You are worth so so much more than what you produce, friends. You always have been.

It’s good to be back to writing again, missed you guys.

Syd