I'm not a nice person

Hi friends,

I have another confession to make.

For someone who spends a lot of time giving speeches and coaching executives, I am actually incredibly socially awkward.

Seriously. I do things in public spaces on a regular basis that would make most people absolutely cringe. I mix up names, I miss social cues, and my brain occasionally just goes completely offline in high-stakes environments.

Two weeks back, I walked into the venue of a massive global company for an event. The moment I stepped through the door, a very senior executive spotted me. She literally screamed my name across the room, rushing over with a massive smile, completely thrilled to see me. We had interacted a lot via email, but seeing her in person caught me totally off guard.

My brain scrambled. I looked at her, and I had absolutely no clue who she was.

None. Zip.

Instead of playing along or pretending I remembered, my awkward authenticity took over. I froze, blinked, and honestly admitted it right there in front of everyone.

The room went quiet for a split second. People around us looked horrified. But then, I apologised profusely, we both realised how ridiculous the situation was, and we burst out laughing.

And you know what the strange thing is? That cringey, awkward moment didn’t ruin the relationship. It actually made it so much stronger. For the rest of the evening, everyone was joking about it. It broke the icy, corporate mask everyone else was wearing.

People didn’t remember me for being a flawlessly polished executive. They remembered me because I had a real messy moment.

We carry this unspoken rule in our careers and businesses that we always have to be perfectly polite, expected, and “nice.” We read the standard networking scripts, memorise the standard corporate pleasantries, and nod along at the right times.

But here is the brutal truth is that doing that usually just makes you unmemorable.

When you say exactly what people expect you to say, you blend into the background. You become part of the walls. And in the leadership space, the career space, and the business world, no one remembers the walls.

I am absolutely not telling you to be rude, arrogant, or disrespectful to people. Not at all.

But I am telling you to stop prioritising “being nice” over being there.

Lean into your authenticity, even when it feels a little awkward. What makes you awkward is often what makes you genuine. And what makes you genuine is the exact thing people actually connect with. We know this. Connection comes from how you make people feel and what they enjoy about your actual presence.

So, how do you navigate spaces without forcing yourself to be loud or fake, but still letting your true self ooze out?

1. Drop the script

Stop trying to memorise the “right” thing to say in meetings or networking events. If you are nervous, you can say you’re nervous. If you don’t know an answer, say you don’t know. The moment you stop reading from the generic corporate script, people stop talking to a resume and start talking to a human being.

2. Own the recovery

Awkward things are going to happen. You will forget a name, stumble on a word, or spill a coffee. Don’t shrink, panic, or try to smoothly cover it up. Own it. Laugh at yourself. When you show people that you aren’t terrified of your own flaws, you give them permission to drop their guard too.

Take a deep breath today. Drop the heavy burden of trying to be flawless, and give yourself permission to just be.

Go into your workplace this week and dare to show up as a real person, quirks and all. Watch how fast people lean in. And if they don’t, well, it’s their loss. Go on and have a good day anyway!

I hope this helps someone,

Sydney

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